whatever sucks

TOP 8 IDIOTS OF 2008

Number 1 Idiot of 2008

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the Poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.

She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here’s your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
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Number Two Idiot of 2008

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s.
They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming
toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here’s your sign, guys. Don’t get it wet; the paint might run.
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Number Three Idiot of 2008

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America , walked into the Branch and wrote this, ‘Put all your muny in this bag.’
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he
reached the teller’s window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn’t the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, ‘OK’ and Left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America .

Don’t bother with this guy’s sign. He probably couldn’t read it anyway.
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Number Four Idiot of 2008

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

Wise guy…… But you still get a sign
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Number Five Idiot of 2008

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, ‘Because I don’t believe you are over 21.’
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn’t believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver’s license out of his
wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

his guy definitely needs a sign.
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Idiot Number Six of 2008

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, ‘Nobody move!’ When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn’t even deserve a sign
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Idiot Number Seven of 2008

Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.
He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
He lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

Yep, here’s your sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Eight of 2008

I live in a semi-rural area. ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin )
We recently had a new neighbor call the local townshipadministrative office to request the removal of the DeerCrossing sign on our road.

The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.

National Grid Online Services is a fucking joke. they want you to go through 20 minutes long registering process, just to make you provide your bank account to them, instead of make it easy to pay using a Debit or credit card (adding paypal wouldn’t hurt either)… Can anyone tell me please, is there a real reason for this? Or is it just a problem of another retard in charge??

Please, people from National Grid, consider making life easier for all kinds of people. Don’t be a National Greed, or a home for RIC (Retards in Charge).

Disappointed client.

Qotd: Do You Think You Can Tell The Difference Between Standard Def, 720p and 1080p?.

Why would you pay for HD if you can’t see the difference? What do you think?

I really wonder who is so fucking dumb to fall for this twice!

UNITED NATIONS 2008 SCAM VICTIMS COMPENSATIONS PAYMENTS
FROM  CHAIRMAN COMMITTE ON FOREIGN DEBTS PAYMENT/UNITED NATIONS 2008 SCAM VICTIMS COMPENSATIONS PAYMENTS.

CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA AND UNITED NATION ORGANIZATION do hereby give this irrevocable approval order with Release Code: GNC/3480/02/00 in your favor for
your compensation entitlement with the UNITED NATION into your nominated bank
account. New Payment, United nation Approval No; UN5685P, White House Approved.

No: WH44CV, Reference No.-35460021, Allocation No: 674632 Password No: 339331 ,
Pin Code No: 55674 and your Certificate of Merit Payment No : 103 , Released
Code No: 0763; Immediate CBN Telex confirmation No:-1114433 ; Secret Code
No:XXTN013, Having received these vital payment numbers ,therefore You are
qualified now to receive and confirm Your payment with the United Nation
immediately within the next 72hrs.

As a matter of fact, you are required to Deal and Communicate only with MAXWELL JONES, SOLICITOR/ADVOCATE UNITED NATION'S,with the help and monitory team from the NATWEST PLC (UK) which is our official remitting bank, Committee On Foreign Payment Matters in United Nation,has look up to make sure you receive your fund valued
US$980,000.00.(Nine Hundred And Eighty Thousand US.Dollars).

So contact: BARRISTER MAXWELL JONES direct
UNITEDNATION'S Telephone Number:+447-0359-02903.
Email:barr.maxwelljones_orangelawfirm@live.com

1) YOUR FULL NAME:
2) ADDRESS,CITY,STATE AND COUNTRY.
3) PHONE,FAX AND MOBILE
4) COMPANY NAME(IF ANY) POSITION AND ADDRESS
5) BANK DETAILS,ACCOUNT NO ROUTING NO/SWIFT CODE BANK NAME BANK ADDRESS.
6) PROFESSION,AGE AND MARITAL STATUS
7) COPY OF YOUR INT'L PASSPORT/DRIVERS LICENSE

NOTE: YOUR PERSONAL CONTACT/COMMUNICATION CODE WITH UNITED NATION'S LAWYER IS(511),YOU ARE ADVICE TO SEND YOUR FULL BANKING INFORMATION TO THE UNITED NATIONS ATTORNEY GENERAL AND MAKE SURE YOU SPEAK WITH HIM, WITH YOUR NEW PAYMENT CODE FOR RELEASE OF YOUR PAYMENT AND SEND HIM ALL YOUR BANKING INFORMATION NOW. 

CONTACT CODE(511)
OFFICER:  MAXWELL JONES.
POSITION: ATTORNEY GENERAL ON FOREIGN DEBT, LONDON (UK)
TELEPHONE OFFICE/UNITED NATION'S:+447-0359-02903
FAX NUMBER:+447-0359-02906
EMAIL:barr.maxwelljones_orangelawfirm@live.com

SIR FRANK PETERSON.
(CHAIRMAN COMMITTE ON FOREIGN DEBTS PAYMENT UNITED
NATION AND USA GOVERNMENT).

This is an email I received today. Please read it, and think, why the author is called “one ticked lady”. Does she really take it too seriously? Or does it suck that not more people think this way?

Written by a housewife from New Jersey and sounds like it! This is one ticked off lady.

“Are we fighting a war on terror or aren’ t we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001?

Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from our nation’s capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania ?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn’t they?

And I’m supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was “desecrated” when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet?…Well, I don’t. I don’t care at all.

I’ll start caring when Osama bin Ladenturns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.

I’ll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in SaudiArabia .

I’ll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg’s head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I’ll care when the cowardly so-called “insurgents” in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.

I’ll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs.

I’ll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution’s Bill of Rights.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don’t care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don’t care.

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed “special” food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being “mishandled,” you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don’t care.

And oh, by the way, I’ve noticed that sometimes it’s spelled “Koran” and other times “Quran.” Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and-you guessed it-I don’t care !!

If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends. Sooner or later, it’ll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior!

If you don’t agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you choose the latter, then please don’t complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great Country! And may I add:

“Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don’t have that problem” — Ronald Reagan

I have another quote that I would like to add AND…….I hope you forward all this.

“If we ever forget that we’re One NationUnder God, then we will be a nation gone under.” Also by.. Ronald Reagan

One last thought for the day:

In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the Anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England ’s Prime Minister Tony Blair’s words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much inAmerica , he said: “A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in.. And how many want out.”

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you:
1. Jesus Christ
2. The American G. I.

One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO PASS THIS ON, AS MANY SEEM TO FORGET BOTH OF THEM. AMEN!